Still Waiting

Sunday, July 10, 2005

just saw ziqi's tag.. haha.. she commented that my blog was sad.. issit? lol.. didnt quite think much of that sadness.. well.. because it occurred to me as a thought, not a feeling. but well, it made me review my life this past month, which seemed so long. i have been drowning myself in sadness, and i know i shouldnt be doing this at all! and something that someone told me last night left me clueless again. felt a little sad of cos. but it made me understand that he doesnt love me anymore. and.. no matter how long i wait, he'll never be mine. those confident feelings that i once had was all gone. those confident feelings that i'm sure he still likes me, and he'll still visit my blog. suddenly i know.. its all a lie already. and he wouldnt like me anymore.

my heart is getting too comfortable where it is now, and i will make it move out of the comfort zone. i'm tired of guessing what he's thinking, and even if i know, it wouldnt make me anymore happy. that's the reality i have to face, nothing about him in future will cheer me up.

gotta focus on studies, which is the sianest thing in the whole world. arghhhh`.

sighs................ i gotta apologize to a person..who waited for a year. i'm sorry. please don't pin anymore hope..

hais. sometimes, i really deserve what i'm having now. for being selfish now will cause u even more pain in future. so.. now i guess it's the best to let go. no more hopeful situations for me, cos i don't need anymore lies. it's tough enough trying to pick up the pieces of my heart by myself, let alone using lies to again shatter the pieces i've been trying to hold together.

-when are you coming back? ;